Educational Psychologist

Indonesia

Mrs.Devi Venugopal

Hello Readers, it’s a joy to meet you all again. We know the COVID cases are on the rise in India, and certain regions are in lockdown. Let’s revisit few topics to understand our state of mind and our children’s mental state to help them better. It’s normal to occasionally experience Anxiety, such as when faced with the stressed-out boss, conflict with family members, high-stakes meetings, in between jobs, exams, transitions. Mental health experts suggest that we tend to get trapped in false or limited thinking ways when anxious. These thought patterns create a negative spiral that can take our lives by convincing us that we are in victimhood and a state of helplessness. We will look into few trap patterns:

  1. Catastrophizing – Imagining the worst possible outcomes. “I will fail in my exams, no matter how hard I try.”
  2. Mind reading – Imagining what others are thinking. “I know those girls are talking bad about me.” “My friends think I’m dumb.”
  3. Fortune telling – Imagining what the future holds without data. “They will not join me in the social group as I don’t play soccer.”
  4. Black and white thinking – Considering only two possible outcomes. “I’ll either accepted or hated by my friends’ group.”
  5. Overgeneralizing – Painting all scenarios with a generalized outcome. “I suck in all the exams; I suck in public speaking as I failed last year.”

Now we will see how to overcome these traps, break the negative thinking patterns, gain control over your anxiety, and allow you to listen to the voice that matters in your head.

  1. Pause the pattern – Anxiety is often preceded by physical symptoms. Learn to recognize an impending attack’s physical cues: a churning stomach, sweaty palms, or flaring nostrils. These reactions are part of the amygdala hijack, causing the body to fight or flight instead of operating from the thinking brain. When you notice these reactions, consciously shift to the thinking part by activating it by doing some higher-level challenging math problems or read poetry which starts analytical thinking.
  2. Name the trap – Give your pattern a name, whether it is one of the above mines or something new. Naming converts the vague threat to something concrete; you regain control by realizing you had encountered before and survived.
  3. Separate the fears, uncertainties, and doubts from fact – create a two-column list – on one side, list your fears, uncertainties, and doubts. The second column is for verified facts. Being able to compare the two can help to come out of irrational fears and touch reality. If your fear column is longer than the facts, reach out to a trusted adult, they can point to some facts to offset your Anxiety.
  4. Tell more stories – We make assumptions and jump to conclusions and tell ourselves stories all the time. Storytelling is what we are wired for by our human nature. When we are anxious, we tend to believe our own stories; we believe the most extreme and hostile forms. Instead of curbing this habit, indulge it. Always compose three different stories and ensure they’re different from each other. For example, when I call a friend, he doesn’t pick up; immediately, the storyteller within me says, “He is avoiding you.” This is the time you should push to develop companion stories, such as “He might have been busy with other chores” or “He must have missed my call.” Expanding the levels you tell yourself about a specific situation shows you there are multiple possibilities, many of them more positive than your initial hypothesis.
  5. Walk your talk – Ask yourself what you would advise others to do during the anxiety attack time. Counsel yourself as you would counsel a friend. People who are clueless a moment before we’re able to provide sound guidance. If you find yourself saying, “I feel stuck,” “I don’t know what to do,” or “there’s no way out,” ask yourself,” If your friend comes to you with the same predicament, what would you tell them?” this pause allows you to become more objective and loosen the thinking trap that has you in its hold. While all of these strategies can help, it is pretty hard to remember them during a panic attack. So better to write it on a piece of paper when you are going for a high-risk meeting and use it when you see the symptoms surfacing.

It is human to feel fear, self-doubt, and confusion. In the correct dose, it would be helpful; they keep us vigilant, engaged, and productive. But when anxieties overburden our brains and undermine performances, it’s time to choose and apply the strategies consciously that put us in charge of the internal dialogue and connect with the chatter that matters.

We must provide these tools and support for young adolescent minds; every one in five households has a child suffering from psychological issues. As a community, it is our responsibility to create a wave of awareness among the adults and caregivers to use the tools and provide them to the teens.

Citation

Nawaz, Sabina. (2020). How Anxiety traps us, and How we can break free. Harvard Business Review.