Mary Pouline,
Author and Founder, Sapience Publications
Hi friends, I am Mary Pouline.
When we board a plane, we are greeted by the air hostess, smartly dressed in uniform, with a warm smile and a friendly ‘hello’, and we feel so good. What does she do here? She conveys many pleasant messages without using words; instead, through her gestures, eye movements, facial expressions, and body posture, she makes the passengers feel at home. This is what we call body language.
And if she uses words at all, the tone of her voice gives you a sense of welcome, reassurance, and comfort.
Why do I say all this? Yes, you guessed it right.Today, we shall discuss about non-verbal communication.
You see, there are two basic elements in all face-to-face communications – 1) the verbal element or words 2) the non-verbal element, which has two forms: a) the physical gestures and b) the voice tones.
In all non-verbal communication, instead of using words, we make our whole body communicate ideas and messages. When it comes to demonstrating our love and concern for someone, the non-verbal aspects take on a major role. Especially if we are communicating with children, the role of body language becomes paramount.
That’s why teachers have to be alert about this point when dealing with small children.
There are three ways to make your communication always effective and successful:
1) Use of clear and simple words. The message is always conveyed through words. The first thing, therefore, is to ensure that our words convey the right meaning. It is important to have a good vocabulary. Secondly, the words we choose must be understandable to the listeners. The speaker has to adapt to the standard of the listeners. If you are addressing ordinary people, care must be taken to avoid technical jargon and scientific expressions that the people may not be familiar with.
2) Use of body movements and gestures: When one speaks spontaneously, the right body movements and gestures will automatically accompany our words. The body language is picked up by every human being from the cultural environment they live in. The gestures we use when we talk to people, such as waving our hands, flashing our eyes, or raising our eyebrows at someone, have a great impact. It is said, “A picture is worth a thousand words”. Well, I may add, “A gesture is also worth a thousand words.” Don’t you think so?
Small children are particularly impacted by the body language of the speaker. They may not understand the words used in the conversation, but they are quick to pick up the cues from the gestures used by the speaker. This is something teachers should bear in mind.In the classroom, teachers communicate a lot through gestures. When children talk, nodding your head helps them feel that you’re receptive and interested in the matter they want to talk about. It certainly increases their enthusiasm level. Gestures and actions often convey ideas faster than words. They make the kids feel comfortable and give them a feeling that they are valued.
Another interesting thing to remember is what is often called ‘mirror behaviours’. When we’re conversing with others, our bodies will echo or mirror each other when there’s a high degree of agreement in thought or feeling. We see this happening everywhere — when a mother talks to her baby, or when good friends or colleagues are immersed in some interesting conversation,
or when you go to a restaurant, someone wants to order the food and asks you, what would you have, and you say, “Oh, I go with you”; wow, they’ll love to hear it. When we mirror each other’s behaviour, we help them to communicate more freely and openly. This is a tool teachers can use in the classroom with good results.
3) Voice tone: In conversation, the tone of our voice is even more important than the words we use. Those who listen to us pick up many messages from the quality of our voice – its tone, pitch, modulation, inflexion, loudness, etc.
These vocal cues are very important in communication, especially in the classroom. It is not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it, that creates understanding and impact.The tone should, of course, be comforting, showing interest and nottoo hurried, indifferent, or lazy.
The Power of Body Language
Here is something that might surprise many. When two people are speaking face to face, how much of the meaning is communicated verbally, and how much non-verbally? This matter was investigated by Prof. Albert Mehrabian of the University of California in the 1960s. According to his study, in face-to-face communication, only 7 per cent of meaning comes from spoken words, 38 per cent from voice tone, and 55 per cent from facial expressions. In other words, 93 % of the impact of a face-to-face conversation depends on non-verbal communication.
Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 formula should be an eye-opener to all of us. While the exact numbers in the formula may be challenged, what is important is to remember that a lot of communication comes through non-verbal communication. Mehrabian’s study also tells us that it is easier to misunderstand words without seeing and hearing, and when we are unsure about what the words mean, we pay more attention to gestures and voice tones. Think about it.
Stay Blessed. Thank you.
