EDUCATIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST – 37
INDONESIA
You can make the new habit more attractive if you can learn to associate them with a positive experience. Sometimes, all you need is slight shift in mindset. For example, we run through our schedule in our minds in a given day: you have to wake up early for work, have to cook for your family, make another sales call. Let’s change just one word: You don’t “have” to, you “get” to.
- You get to wake up early for work.
- You get to cook for your family.
- You get to make another sales call today.
By changing only one word you simply shift the way you perceive each event differently. You move from seeing these behaviors as burdens and turn them into opportunities.
The crucial point is that both versions of reality are true. You have to do those things, and also get to do them. We can find evidence for whatever mind-set we choose. I once heard a story of a man who uses a wheelchair, When asked if it was difficult being confined, he replied, “I;m not confined to my wheelchair, I am liberated by it. If it wasn’t for my wheelchair, I would bed bound and never able to leave the house.” This shift in perspective completely transformed how he lived each day.
Reframing your habits to highlight their benefits rather than their drawbacks is the quickest way to reprogram your mind and make a habit seem more attractive.
Exercise: Many view exercise as a strenuous task which wears your energy down. You can just as easily view it as a way to develop skills and build you up. Instead of telling, “I need to go run in the morning,” say “It is time to build endurance and get fast.”
Finance: Saving money often relates to sacrifice. However, you can connect it with freedom rather than limitation if you realize one simple truth: living below your current means increases your future means. The money you save this month increases your purchasing capacity the following month.
Meditation: Anyone who has tried meditation knows that how frustrating it can be for every 3 seconds the next distraction pops up in your mind. You can transform this distraction as an opportunity to return to your focus on breath. Distractions are good things as you need them to practice meditation.
Pregame jitters: Many people feel performance anxiety, they experience quick breathing, fast heart rate, heightened arousal. If we interpret them as negative, then we will be threatened by them. If we perceive them positively, then we can respond with the flow in grace. You can reframe “I am nervous” to “I am excited and I’m getting an adrenaline rush to help me concentrate.”
These little mind-shifts aren’t magic, but they can help to change the feelings associate with your habits or situation. You can take to next level by creating your own motivational ritual. If you want to introduce mediation in the night before bedtime, put a soothing music which you enjoy as a cue to get into the rhythm.
Ed Latimore, a boxer and writer from Pittsburgh, have benefited from a similar strategy without knowing it. “Odd Realization,” he wrote, “My focus and concentration goes up just putting my headphones while writing. I don’t even play any music.” Without realizing it, has been conditioning himself. In the beginning, he put his headphones on and played some music he enjoyed and did some focused work. After several repetitions, putting headphones on became his cue to associate with focused work. The craving followed naturally. Athletes use similar strategies to get the right mindset before each game. My daughter does a particular routine before each game, even if it takes 10 minutes, it will create a right mental state along with the physical warm up.
This strategy can work with anything, say you want to be happier than before, find something which makes you happy like petting the cat or dog, taking a cold shower, and create a routine that you perform every time you do the thing you love. Just take three deep breaths and smile, eventually it will be linked to a good mood. It becomes a cue that means feeling happy. Once established, you can break it out anytime you need to change your emotional state, stressed about work? Sad about life? Three deep breaths and smile. Once a habit has been built, the cue can prompt a craving, even if it has little to do with the original situation.
The key to finding the causes of your bad habits is to reprogram the associations you have with them, It’s not easy, but if you can reprogram your predictions, you can transform a hard habit into an attractive one.
Let’s summarize the key points from the last two articles:
- The inversion of the 2nd Law of Behavior Change is making it unattractive.
- Every behavior has a surface level craving and a deeper underlying motive.
- Your habits are modern day solutions to ancient desires.
- The cause of your habits its usually the prediction that precedes them The prediction leads to a feeling.
- Highlight the benefits of avoiding a bad habit to make it seem unattractive.
- Habits are attractive when we associate them with positive feelings and unattractive when we associate with negative feelings. Create a motivation ritual by doing something you enjoy immediately before a difficult habit..
