Mary Pouline, Author and Founder,
Sapience Publications
Hello, dear readers.
I am Mary Pouline, back again with my monthly parenting reflectionsIn my previous column, I shared my thoughtson the Silent Shift in Indian Fathers. This time, I would like to explore a topic that remains unspoken—the impact of exam stress on parents. After all, parents are as much affected by exam stress as their children and sometimes even more so.
For generations,Indian parents have been deeply concerned about exams, marks and parent-teacher meetings— so much so that the stress often weighs heavier on them than on the children themselves. While exams are meant to assess students, they silently test parents’ patience, endurance, and emotional resilience.
Today, exam season is demanding not only for children but also for parents. Parents monitor study schedules, prepare nutritious meals, arrange resources, attend meetings, motivate their children, and eventually face the results—whatever they may be. Staying on top of all this while managing work, household responsibilities, and personal well-being is no easy task. It’s not easy to stay on top of schedules, attend parent-teacher conferences, and be their kids’ constant cheerleaders. Parents today juggle multiple roles, and exam stress inevitably becomes part of their daily lives.
When it comes to exams, parents have a lot of worries and uncertainties. Whether a child is brilliant, average, poor, tension persists. Tests and exams are unavoidable realities throughout a student’s academic life. While schools use them to assess competence, parents must remember that exams are not the final verdict on a child’s future. Marks measure knowledge, not wisdom; performance does not define destiny.
The Real Impact of Exam Stress on Indian Parents
Exam stress is not merely pre-exam nervousness; it is a complex emotional and physical response to one of the most challenging phases in a child’s life. The pressure to perform can cause sleepless nights, appetite loss, and even depressive symptoms in youngsters of higher grades, especially class 10 and 12. However, children are not the only ones affected.
Parents often feel immense pressure to conform to societal expectations, leading them to compare their children with others, which fuels their own stress.
In India, where academic success is often linked to family pride and social identity, a low score or failure can feel deeply distressing—not just for the child, but for the entire family. This cultural mindset significantly amplifies parental stress during exam time.
The Role of Parents Education and Occupation
Parents’ educational background and occupation also play a crucial role in shaping exam-related stress. A study by Desai TanmayiSuhas and AnuradhaSathiyaseelan of the Department of Psychology at CHRIST (Deemed to be University), Bangalore, India, titled “Role of Parents Education and Occupation in Parental Pressure and Adolescents Test Anxiety” found that “in India, education of parents and mother’s occupation were related to parental pressure.”
Studies point out that “Wards of non-graduate parents and self-employed mothers were likely to experience more academic and parental pressure”. Parents with higher educational qualifications are better equipped to assist with studies and homework, which reduces their anxiety. In contrast, parents with limited educational exposure may feel stressed and inadequate when unable to help their children academically. The higher the level of their parents’ education, – the easier it was for them to help with their children’s homework and school life.
Working parents, accustomed to managing workplace stress, may develop better coping mechanisms, enabling them to handle exam-related pressure more effectively. Non-working parents, on the other hand, are most likely to face a higher level of exam stress as they are ill-equipped to handle pressure.
